You see he is very extroverted and has always wanted a more open-ended relationship. And me being me, with how I was raised, I know that it is not in my core being to allow this sort of thing. Although I do try not to let his bouts of "looking" bother me so much. As long as it doesn't go beyond the looking phase I think it is perfectly natural. Since he has promised it would not go beyond looking unless I was comfortable with it too.
But the nightmare from last night it went beyond looking, way beyond. Some how this girl had gone from just being a mall kiosk girl, to being at his parents house. And then I catch them in his old bedroom. The funny thing is that I don't flip out on them I just quietly shut the door and go back to what I was doing, like it was a normal occurance. I don't know what this means.
But then he has the nerve to say that I am overreacting later in the dream when I won't let him touch me until he gets tested. Ugh! Why must dreams be so annoying on the nights it takes me forever to actually get some sleep?
Oh well I don't even know if I will have the balls to post this or not. If I do though, can you answer one question for me, have you ever had random nightmares that have left you shaken to the core because of how real they feel to you? Leave me a comment please, I'm kinda feeling like I might need a phycologial profile done after that dream.
Eta: fell back to sleep and this dream continued again. Usually I can get out of a dream when I wake up. But this one just would not leave. I'm still so tired but it is time to get up for the day.
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